Before and during the divorce process, both parents have equal legal rights to the custody of their children. Mothers and fathers stand on the same legal footing until one parent voluntarily relinquishes or is legally denied custody rights.
What Does This Mean?
It’s complicated—especially if you’re unfamiliar with your state’s child custody laws. The bottom line is that until a custody agreement is signed or a judge issues a custody ruling, both parents have the same legal rights concerning where the child lives, who the child lives with, and other significant decisions about the child’s welfare.
Common Misunderstandings Among Fathers
Many fathers do not fully understand their legal rights regarding their children. In most cases, fathers may give up custody out of fear of losing in court due to a perceived gender bias.
For example, I received an email from a father separated from his wife. He wrote:
“My wife moved out with our children and refused to allow me to visit them. I found out the other day that my youngest daughter had been hospitalized for a minor illness, and I wasn’t informed. What should I do?”
It’s heartbreaking to hear from fathers who mistakenly believe that their wives have more legal rights over their children. This father has the legal right to bring his children home. He has the legal right to contact school officials, pediatricians, and anyone else involved with his child’s care to inform them that he is being denied his legal rights and to demand to be notified of any matters concerning his children.
Fathers, please stay in touch with your child’s doctors, teachers, and activity coaches and tell them to keep you updated on your children’s health and activities. You have the same rights as the mother regarding custody of your children. Don’t allow your soon-to-be ex to snowball you into believing that she has more rights than you do just because the children are in her possession.
