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Home Domestic Abuse

Emotional Abuse Checklist In An Abusive Relationship

The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse:

Cathy Meyer by Cathy Meyer
9 September 2024
in Domestic Abuse, Marital Problems
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Emotional Abuse Checklist In An Abusive Relationship

Woman hitting seated man on head with flowers

There is no universally accepted definition of emotional abuse. Like other forms of violence in relationships, emotional abuse is based on power and control. The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse: Your spouse…

  • Frequently blames or criticizes you,
  • Calls you names,
  • Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race class or sexual preference,
  • Blames you for “causing” the abuse,
  • Ridicules/makes bad remarks about your gender,
  • Criticizes or threatens to hurt your family or friends,
  • Isolates you from your family and friends,
  • Abuses animals,
  • Tries to keep you from doing something you wanted to do,
  • Is angry if you pay too much attention to someone or something else (children, friends, school, etc.),
  • Withholds approval, appreciation or affection,
  • Humiliates you,
  • Becomes angry if meals or housework are not done to his/her liking,
  • Makes contradictory demands,
  • Does not include you in important decisions,
  • Does not allow you to sleep,
  • Repeatedly harasses you about things you did in the past,
  • Takes away car keys, money or credit cards,
  • Threatens to leave or told you to leave,
  • Checks up on you (listens to your phone calls, looks at phone bills, checks the mileage on the car, etc.),
  • Tells people you suffer from a mental illness,
  • Threatens to commit suicide,
  • Interferes with your work or school (provokes a fight in the morning, calls to harass you at work, etc.),
  • Minimizes or denies being abusive,
  • Abuses your children,
  • Uses drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior,
  • Uses phrases like “I’ll show you who the boss is,” or ”I’ll put you in line,”
  • Uses loud or intimidating tone of voice,
  • Comes home at late hours refusing to give an explanation.

Emotional abuse can have serious physical and psychological consequences for women, including severe depression, anxiety, persistent headaches, back and limb problems, and stomach problems. If you are concerned about the abuse level you are experiencing, please call The National Abuse hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233).

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Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer is the editor of Divorce Parents Hub.

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