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Home Marital Problems

Restoring Love or Resolving Conflict: What is the Best Option to Save a Troubled Marriage?

So, what’s the best option for your troubled marriage? It depends on where you are in your relationship. If conflicts are piling up and weighing you down, resolving those issues may take priority.

Cathy Meyer by Cathy Meyer
27 September 2024
in Marital Problems
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A covert narcissist brood over his next moves.

When your marriage encounters turbulence, the question of whether to restore love or resolve conflict often comes to mind. It’s not an easy decision to make, but understanding the dynamics of love and conflict can help you choose the best path for your relationship.

Conflict Is Easily Resolved If There Is A Foundation of Love

Every marriage experiences conflict at some point, but how you navigate those conflicts often depends on the foundation of love that your relationship was built on. If love still exists, even if it feels hidden or diminished by tension, resolving conflict becomes a more manageable task. Love fosters patience, empathy, and understanding. These qualities are essential when working through disagreements.

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By focusing on love, you can approach conflicts with a softer heart, creating space for meaningful communication. In fact, when you view conflict through the lens of love, you’re more likely to see your partner’s perspective, making it easier to find common ground. This can reduce resentment and make problem-solving a collaborative effort rather than a battleground.

Prolonging Conflict Can Sap Energy

When conflicts linger, they can drain your emotional and mental energy, leaving both partners exhausted. Prolonged conflict creates a negative atmosphere that overshadows the positives in your relationship. Instead of enjoying each other’s company, your interactions become dominated by tension, frustration, and unresolved issues.

It’s easy to fall into a cycle where small disagreements snowball into larger arguments, creating distance between you and your partner. In the long run, this emotional toll can lead to disconnection. That’s why resolving conflicts sooner rather than later is important. Letting issues fester can lead to feelings of bitterness, making it even more difficult to restore love when the conflict feels like it’s taken over the relationship.

Restoring Love Can Evoke Cherished Memories of Early Love Days

Sometimes, the best way to resolve conflict is to reconnect with the love that brought you together in the first place. Restoring love in your relationship can bring back memories of the early days—when everything felt effortless and joyful. When you focus on rekindling the emotional bond between you and your partner, the conflicts often become less significant.

Think about what made you fall in love with your spouse. Were there moments of laughter, shared dreams, and emotional support? By actively working to restore that connection, you can bring back those cherished memories and feelings. Engaging in activities you both enjoyed in the past, sharing affectionate moments, or simply spending quality time together without the distractions of conflict can reignite the emotional closeness you may feel you’ve lost.

Restoring love doesn’t mean ignoring conflicts; it means shifting your energy toward nurturing the bond that has the potential to heal the relationship. When love is reignited, conflicts are often viewed through a softer lens, and solutions may come more naturally as you work together to protect what you cherish most.

Finding the Right Balance

In reality, both restoring love and resolving conflict are essential for saving a troubled marriage. The two go hand in hand. Love creates the foundation for resolving issues, while resolving conflicts allows love to flourish without the weight of unresolved tensions. It’s about finding a balance that works for both partners, focusing on communication, empathy, and a shared commitment to the relationship.

So, what’s the best option for your troubled marriage? It depends on where you are in your relationship. If conflicts are piling up and weighing you down, resolving those issues may take priority. But if love feels distant, it might be time to focus on restoring that emotional connection. Ultimately, combining both approaches can pave the way for a healthier, more fulfilling relationship, where love and resolution coexist in harmony.

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Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer is the editor of Divorce Parents Hub.

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