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Home Infidelity

Why Do People Cheat? Debunking the Myths About Infidelity

Cheating isn't about gender, lack of sex, or even age-related crises. The reasons for infidelity are complex and often deeply personal.

Cathy Meyer by Cathy Meyer
24 September 2024
in Infidelity
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A woman sits in a sad mood with her hands on her forehead.

Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences you can face in a relationship. When someone close to you cheats, it’s only natural to search for reasons. Why would they betray your trust? You may have heard common explanations floating around, like midlife crises or dissatisfaction at home. But how much truth is there in these ideas? Let’s dive into some of the most popular myths about cheating and uncover what’s really behind infidelity.

Is Cheating Gender-Specific?

There’s a common belief that men cheat more than women, but that’s simply not the case. The idea that infidelity is somehow “in men’s DNA” is outdated. While men may be more open about their affairs, women are just as likely to cheat. Women may be more discreet, but this doesn’t mean they are more loyal. The reality is that cheating isn’t determined by gender; both men and women can be unfaithful when the opportunity presents itself.

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Can Lack of Sex at Home Spur The Tendency Towards Infidelity?

You’ve probably heard someone say that a person cheats because they’re not getting enough intimacy at home. However, most men who engage in affairs do so not because they’re sexually unfulfilled, but because the opportunity arises. Some cheat to reaffirm their desirability, while others may do it as a form of rebellion or even revenge. Surprisingly, many men cheat even when they have a highly sexual partner at home. The act of cheating is less about what’s lacking in the relationship and more about personal insecurity or thrill-seeking.

Can Midlife Crisis Bear The Onus of Infidelity?

It’s easy to associate infidelity with the infamous midlife crisis, but they don’t always go hand-in-hand. Yes, some affairs may occur during this tumultuous period in life, when someone might be questioning their choices or identity. But not every person who cheats is in the middle of a midlife crisis, and not every midlife crisis results in infidelity. It’s important not to conflate the two, as doing so can oversimplify a complex situation.

Can Convenience, Not Age, Be The Real Cause of Infidelity?

Another popular myth is that men cheat because they want to be with someone younger or more attractive. The truth is far more pragmatic. Most men who cheat aren’t chasing beauty or youth; they’re often looking for convenience. Affairs usually happen when someone is available, and it has little to do with how glamorous or beautiful the other person is. What they’re really after is an easy opportunity.

The Real Reasons Behind Cheating

Infidelity stems from a variety of reasons, many of which have little to do with physical attraction or lack of satisfaction in the relationship. For some, it’s a learned behavior from watching their parents. Others may cheat out of insecurity, to regain a sense of power, or as a form of self-sabotage. It’s important to recognize that the reasons for infidelity are as varied as the individuals involved, and each situation is unique.

In the end, it’s essential to stop clinging to societal myths about infidelity. Cheating isn’t about gender, lack of sex, or even age-related crises. The reasons for infidelity are complex and often deeply personal. Understanding these nuances helps you see beyond the myths and look for the true root of the betrayal, which may be insecurity, opportunity, or personal dissatisfaction rather than any one-size-fits-all reason.

According to research by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, approximately 15% of married women and 25% of married men have cheated . Another study suggests that men and women are nearly equally likely to cheat . The reality is that infidelity can happen in any relationship, and understanding the deeper causes can help you navigate this difficult terrain more effectively.

Tags: bad marriagedomestic abuse
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Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer

Cathy Meyer is the editor of Divorce Parents Hub.

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