1. The Late Arriver with Excess Baggage
One of the most common dating challenges post-divorce is encountering the “Late Arriver with Excess Baggage.” This individual tends to bring up the past from the very first conversation, often discussing previous relationships, failed marriages, and unresolved emotional wounds. While it’s natural to have past experiences that shape who we are, bombarding your date with tales of past heartbreak or betrayal can quickly set a negative tone. These stories not only raise red flags but also prevent you from truly connecting with the person in front of you. In dating, it’s crucial to leave some emotional space to get to know someone new without dragging along the baggage of past hurts.
2. The Professional Dater
Then there’s the “Professional Dater” — the individual who treats dating like a hobby or a sport, hopping from one date to another without ever seriously pursuing anything. They’re often charming and smooth but lack true emotional investment. Dating is no longer about finding a connection but about keeping the excitement alive. For someone who is ready for something more meaningful, encountering a “Professional Dater” can feel frustrating and unfulfilling.
3. The Insecure or Arrogant Newly Separated
Another common figure on the dating scene post-divorce is the “Insecure or Arrogant Newly Separated.” This person is still in the midst of processing their separation but channels their emotions in either an overly needy way or in an excessive display of boastfulness. The insecure dater constantly seeks validation, while the arrogant one brags about their newfound freedom. Both extremes are often signals of emotional immaturity or an inability to move on from the past. Neither extreme makes for a balanced or healthy partnership.
4. The Emotionally Unavailable
Then there are those who are emotionally unavailable, who can never seem to commit or open up. These individuals tend to be the “third-date deserters” — they’ll disappear suddenly without any explanation, leaving their date to wonder what went wrong. If you’re looking for meaningful companionship, this type of person can leave you feeling more confused than fulfilled. While it’s important to recognize that everyone has their own pace when it comes to emotional openness, disappearing without warning is never a good sign.
5. The Dishonest Dater
Dishonesty is another red flag in post-divorce dating. The “Dishonest Dater” might stretch the truth or outright lie about personal details or their intentions. This could range from telling you they’re looking for a committed relationship when they are really just interested in casual dates, to fabricating facts about their life to impress you. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and encountering someone who is dishonest can make it difficult to even begin building that connection.
6. The Grabber
On the other hand, you might also meet someone who crosses personal boundaries too quickly. The “Grabber” often rushes into intimacy or pushes for things before both parties are ready. This individual doesn’t respect the slow pace that many people need when re-entering the dating world, especially after the emotional fallout of divorce. Taking the time to truly get to know someone is crucial, and any push for fast intimacy can be an immediate red flag.
7. The Ex-Basher
Finally, there’s the “Ex-Basher,” someone who is constantly criticizing their ex-partner. They might belabor every perceived flaw, every mistake, or every instance of mistreatment. While it’s natural to have feelings about your ex, especially in the aftermath of a divorce, airing those grievances endlessly only reveals unresolved issues that can prevent the development of a healthy relationship. If someone is unable to speak positively or neutrally about their past, it can make it difficult to imagine them in a new, emotionally healthy relationship.
